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Showing posts with label Guest Blogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest Blogs. Show all posts

Friday, 16 August 2013

Guest Blog: The Daily Knobbler - 08/09/1955

Jeremy ‘The Flash’ Bamber in BMX Row.

THERE IS much speculation over how Jeremy ‘The Flash’ Bamber, who murdered his family, got to and from the scene in 9 minutes. It is suspected that he was aided by ET (Speilberg’s Extra Terrestrial,) and a team of boys on BMX bicycles.

Witness, Mr Dolly Pargeter, a cousin, told the Daily Knobble in and exclusive interview, “Yeah man I was just snorting up another line when I saw Jeremy Bamber flying over the village of Tolleshunt D’arcy with an alien like creature wearing a sheet. I had to rub my eyes when I saw him dropping off pre arranged drugs deal in an air drop.”

It is believed that torches found in hedges in the surrounding area were used to guide in the BMX’s which were still being peddled by Bamber and his cronies as they left the scene flying up to 30 metres above ground level.

Related News

What's that Mr Boutflour? Bamber's wasn't THAT kinda wet suit? Ohh...
It was also reported that a flying ‘Wet Suit’ rained down from the midnight sky and slapped Mr Robert Boutflour in the face as he sat fabricating his accounts so people would believe he wasn’t poor and wasn’t living off money from his mother in law. Mr Boutflour, was in fact such a rubbish farmer that he couldn’t afford to buy his own daughter’s land when she and her husband fell into financial difficulty. Instead the Boutflour’s and Eaton’s had to go ‘cap in hand’ to the late Nevill Bamber to bail out the couple, buying their land in a secret contract before he died. This was unknown to Jeremy Bamber and the jury wont be told this when they specifically ask if Mr Boutflour has motive to lie in court.

Mr Boutflour told The Daily Knobbler, “I thought to myself God almighty, if the boys down at the Masonic Lodge find out I’ve got no cash and I’m scabbing off the mother in law I shall be black balled. So I had to make some s**t up. I didn’t want to over egg the pudding too much but Jeremy Bamber is a ‘quee-ar’, looks like a queue-ar and sounds like a quee-ar, and as far as I am concerned he told me that he was going to shoot his family . . . .  when we were alone of course. It’s ‘in the bag’ because one of the old boys at the lodge is the N & J Bamber company solicitor, so he will ‘sort it’ for me.”

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Mr Boutlfour and his Solicitor discuss the fact that Bamber is probably a Quee-ar... You know, cos that's relevant. Well, that and bullsh*t!!

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Guest Blog: Squinty Eye's Weekly Round-up

Typical view of UK streets thanks to European Court, apparently...
It was like Eurovision all over again on Tuesday when a Political fracas was set off as judges in the European Court of Human Rights ruled by 16 to 1 that those UK prisoners on Whole Life Tariffs were to have reviews inserted into their sentences. Chaos broke out and panic ensued when ‘Joe public’ thought that axe murderers would be on our streets chopping off limbs by the dozen inside 24 hours of the ruling.

The Government’s rather strong reaction to European jurisdiction over UK policies on the penal system was nothing more than a knee jerk reaction. Cameron, Grayling and the Tories, who are even more unpopular than murderers themselves at present, set about with threats of curtailing human rights, I’m sorry, I meant defending the current system of whole life.

The timing of the judgement which took almost 8 months to emerge seemed crucial after the Government was just seen to be getting tough on crime, Theresa May only recently addressing the police federation, to say that any one who kills a police officer will be given whole life, and rightly so.

The baffling aspect of sentencing for killing never ceases to amaze me, it appears that Roy Whiting only received a 50 year sentence for kidnapping and murdering little Sarah Payne, and had his sentenced further reduced by a UK judge by 10 years. Yet shooting two police officers, who are trained to do their jobs and enter the profession knowing there are serious risks to their lives carries a whole life sentence – was Sarah’s life worth less than the two police officers? The justice system fails the victims and the most vulnerable members of our society in every way and further ignores safeguards to protect the innocent victims of miscarriages of justice.

Meanwhile, Jeremy Bamber whose name was banded around continually and who after all carried the high profile publicity in the case, sits for 28 years in prison repeatedly pleading for anyone to listen to the overwhelming evidence showing his innocence. Shh, for this should not be mentioned.

Chris ‘black cap’ Grayling (B.A History, Sussex Uni.) appeared against a backdrop of sunshine, with a head you could fry an egg on, and threw his weight about like a big bad tempered tomato. I was surprised he hadn’t added that all those convicted of any crime at all should be hanged to save the treasury purse whether they were innocent or not. (After all there would be more money to kill innocent civilians in countries with a lot of oil.) Indeed after Grayling’s B&B furore, I’m surprised he didn’t add that anyone Gay should also be ‘hanged by the neck until dead’.

‘Reaper’ Grayling also sits at the head of the ‘independent’ Criminal Cases Review Commission, giving a ministerial stamp to anyone wishing to appeal their conviction, so don’t be surprised if appeals against serious crimes don’t get past his scythe. Nevertheless, if you appeal a parking fine conviction, particularly in the stomping ground of the Royal Grammar School, Bucks, you might find it’s overturned – this important role of the CCRC should not go un-noticed by the Great British Public. Remembering that that MP’s who really do need that pay rise, (to cover the loss of expenses claims) will only be possible because the rest of us workers took pay cuts, job cuts, and already suffered a lot of ‘curtailing’ ourselves. What a very fair system that is.

All cases of appeals against conviction should be heard by a judicial authority not a political one, the evidence in Jeremy Bamber’s case is jaw dropping, and the long political arm will ‘curtail’ justice in every movement it can.

The longer we have to put up with justice run by seedy criminals themselves masquerading as ‘honest’ politicians, the longer crime in the judiciary will continue, but now, even if just for one day, Bamber has had the last laugh, and has at a least seen politics with egg on it’s face once more.

Monday, 8 July 2013

Guest Blog: Classified Bamber!

CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENT:
Souvenirs from Tolleshunt D’arcy

c/o Any Cop shop in Essex, other outlets Huntingdon Labs, Sandridge labs, Cambs.


For one week only (or maybe 28 years)
you too can own your own

“Paper Weight Silencer” replica
worth £425,000 for the bargain price just £2.99.

Yes, this unique Parker Hale MM1 antique from 1985, comes as either a single item (DRB/1) or as a fabulous set of 4 matching paper weights - with their own exhibit reference numbers. Yes classic names such as: DB/1, NB/1 and SBJ/1 and it’s only £4.99 for the entire set!

The silencer comes complete with a ‘certificate of authenticity’ known as an ‘exhibit label’ which has been crossed out and resigned by many different forensic scientists, police officers and witnesses.

And for only an extra 99p, you too could possess this fabulous second exhibit label also signed by different witnesses, yes that’s different witnesses!

CUSTOMER TESTIMONIES!
“I had SBJ/1 on my desk for months, it stopped all fabrications from blowing up in my face for a trial and three police investigations. It’s only a shame I had to hand it to the exhibits officer.”

Mr Mick Ainsley of Osea Road Caravan Park Security, Maldon. [formerly DI Ainsley, Essex Police].

“DRB/1 Helped us secure the conviction of Jeremy Bamber so we could claim the estate for ourselves, comes highly recommended.”
D, Boutflour, Farmer, Wix.