Sunday, 14 July 2013

Guest Blog: Squinty Eye's Weekly Round-up

Typical view of UK streets thanks to European Court, apparently...
It was like Eurovision all over again on Tuesday when a Political fracas was set off as judges in the European Court of Human Rights ruled by 16 to 1 that those UK prisoners on Whole Life Tariffs were to have reviews inserted into their sentences. Chaos broke out and panic ensued when ‘Joe public’ thought that axe murderers would be on our streets chopping off limbs by the dozen inside 24 hours of the ruling.

The Government’s rather strong reaction to European jurisdiction over UK policies on the penal system was nothing more than a knee jerk reaction. Cameron, Grayling and the Tories, who are even more unpopular than murderers themselves at present, set about with threats of curtailing human rights, I’m sorry, I meant defending the current system of whole life.

The timing of the judgement which took almost 8 months to emerge seemed crucial after the Government was just seen to be getting tough on crime, Theresa May only recently addressing the police federation, to say that any one who kills a police officer will be given whole life, and rightly so.

The baffling aspect of sentencing for killing never ceases to amaze me, it appears that Roy Whiting only received a 50 year sentence for kidnapping and murdering little Sarah Payne, and had his sentenced further reduced by a UK judge by 10 years. Yet shooting two police officers, who are trained to do their jobs and enter the profession knowing there are serious risks to their lives carries a whole life sentence – was Sarah’s life worth less than the two police officers? The justice system fails the victims and the most vulnerable members of our society in every way and further ignores safeguards to protect the innocent victims of miscarriages of justice.

Meanwhile, Jeremy Bamber whose name was banded around continually and who after all carried the high profile publicity in the case, sits for 28 years in prison repeatedly pleading for anyone to listen to the overwhelming evidence showing his innocence. Shh, for this should not be mentioned.

Chris ‘black cap’ Grayling (B.A History, Sussex Uni.) appeared against a backdrop of sunshine, with a head you could fry an egg on, and threw his weight about like a big bad tempered tomato. I was surprised he hadn’t added that all those convicted of any crime at all should be hanged to save the treasury purse whether they were innocent or not. (After all there would be more money to kill innocent civilians in countries with a lot of oil.) Indeed after Grayling’s B&B furore, I’m surprised he didn’t add that anyone Gay should also be ‘hanged by the neck until dead’.

‘Reaper’ Grayling also sits at the head of the ‘independent’ Criminal Cases Review Commission, giving a ministerial stamp to anyone wishing to appeal their conviction, so don’t be surprised if appeals against serious crimes don’t get past his scythe. Nevertheless, if you appeal a parking fine conviction, particularly in the stomping ground of the Royal Grammar School, Bucks, you might find it’s overturned – this important role of the CCRC should not go un-noticed by the Great British Public. Remembering that that MP’s who really do need that pay rise, (to cover the loss of expenses claims) will only be possible because the rest of us workers took pay cuts, job cuts, and already suffered a lot of ‘curtailing’ ourselves. What a very fair system that is.

All cases of appeals against conviction should be heard by a judicial authority not a political one, the evidence in Jeremy Bamber’s case is jaw dropping, and the long political arm will ‘curtail’ justice in every movement it can.

The longer we have to put up with justice run by seedy criminals themselves masquerading as ‘honest’ politicians, the longer crime in the judiciary will continue, but now, even if just for one day, Bamber has had the last laugh, and has at a least seen politics with egg on it’s face once more.

Friday, 12 July 2013

Bamber to (Moon) Walk Free?

Presumably this is how our man Bamber will exit his cell...
 I’ve got a problem.

I woke up this morning, looked at the telly box and saw that Gordon Brown was still Prime Minister. What the bugger am I gonna do?

It gets worse.

Katie Price and Peter Andre are getting divorced, Wogan is quitting the breakfast show, I’ve gone and caught Swine Flu and Michael Jackson has just died!!!! Ahh!

Yes folks, it is 2009 again. Or at least some time around then anyway.

I know this cos David Boutflour tells me so in the newspaper I was using to dab the wee wee out of my cat’s litter box this morning.

Big bad murderer man Jeremy Bamber is in prison you see, and Mr Boutflour suggests there is no chance he should be released for at least another three or four years from now, maybe 2012 or 2013?

He says:  "He should stay in prison unless he is proven innocent or he has served the time suggested by the judge."

Well that’s super news! Cos the Judge said a minimum of 25 years, David. Wakey wakey, It’s actually 2013 and 25 years passed a long, long time ago. Does that mean Jeremy can come out to play now?

 As for “unless he is proven innocent”, well now you’re just being a saucy devil. We got that one sorted many a year ago you silly bean.

Luckily some of us, after all this time, now know stuff that you know, but nobody else does. Isn’t that good fun.

Let’s party, like it’s 1999!! Or should that be 2009??

Monday, 8 July 2013

Guest Blog: Classified Bamber!

Souvenirs from Tolleshunt D’arcy

c/o Any Cop shop in Essex, other outlets Huntingdon Labs, Sandridge labs, Cambs.

For one week only (or maybe 28 years)
you too can own your own

“Paper Weight Silencer” replica
worth £425,000 for the bargain price just £2.99.

Yes, this unique Parker Hale MM1 antique from 1985, comes as either a single item (DRB/1) or as a fabulous set of 4 matching paper weights - with their own exhibit reference numbers. Yes classic names such as: DB/1, NB/1 and SBJ/1 and it’s only £4.99 for the entire set!

The silencer comes complete with a ‘certificate of authenticity’ known as an ‘exhibit label’ which has been crossed out and resigned by many different forensic scientists, police officers and witnesses.

And for only an extra 99p, you too could possess this fabulous second exhibit label also signed by different witnesses, yes that’s different witnesses!

“I had SBJ/1 on my desk for months, it stopped all fabrications from blowing up in my face for a trial and three police investigations. It’s only a shame I had to hand it to the exhibits officer.”

Mr Mick Ainsley of Osea Road Caravan Park Security, Maldon. [formerly DI Ainsley, Essex Police].

“DRB/1 Helped us secure the conviction of Jeremy Bamber so we could claim the estate for ourselves, comes highly recommended.”
D, Boutflour, Farmer, Wix.