Bamber, Tea Monster

BAMBER HATES TEA CHIMP.... (Apparently)

Ooooh I tell you, that Bamber - he's really gone and done it now! Flipping heck! I'm livid, fuming, angry, furious and hopping mad!

Why such commotion, you ask? Well, Jeremy's latest blog of course. Haven't you read it? Of course you haven't read it, you'd be marching outside Full Sutton with flimsy banners proclaiming "BAMBER'S A BEAST!" if you'd read it.

Let me fill you in. Jeremy Bamber prefers coffee and for the life of him cannot stand to drink tea. Can you believe that?? Leaves a fur on the tongue, he says. The sheer cheek of the man. I know, I know - your blood must be boiling!

Think of those poor PG Tips monkeys, for instance. They'll be out of a job after this. Those fellas from Tetley? No chance - out on the street; homeless and penniless, and it'll be all Jeremy's fault.

He's done some things in his time (apparently taking the lives of his entire family without leaving a single trace of evidence or being spotted by a single witness, for instance - what a feat of apparent majesty that was...) but this takes the biscuit - the tea and biscuit, that is!

Of course, in reality, I should wind my neck in and stop making such a song and dance out of everything Jeremy has to say. I guess it's just what I'm used to. He said he was innocent, how they shouted... He said he feared his sister, mentally ill, may have been behind the killings - how they lambasted him. He said he would fight until one day he was free... My, how they said it was HOBNOB.

In reality of course, much of what Jeremy says is true and isn't at all sensational. Especially the bit about one day being free - thankfully we can all count on that one being virtually gospel. As for his latest blog? He's starting a 29th year in prison as an innocent man. Now that'd be worth getting angry about, wouldn't it? 

As ever, the clock ticks and the tide turns. Slowly? Yes, but it turns...